Keep adult disagreement away from the athlete
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Learning hub · ParentsParents · Parent-coach relationships · Guide · 6 min to use
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Keep Adult Disagreement Away from the Athlete
When adults disagree, a child should not become the messenger, witness or referee. Create a direct communication route and protect the athlete's ordinary participation where possible.
When to use it
Use this when tension develops between caregivers, coaches or other adults connected to a team.
Put It into Practice
- Write the practical issue you need resolved and contact the appropriate adult privately, using the organization's process and avoiding discussion within earshot of children.
- Do not ask your athlete to gather information, deliver criticism or choose sides; tell them which arrangements they need to know in neutral language.
- Agree on a specific next step or escalation route, and keep a factual record where needed; handle safety concerns through the safeguarding process promptly.
What It Can Look Like
Two caregivers disagree about attendance messages, so they settle a shared contact arrangement with the program rather than asking the athlete to relay competing instructions.
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Take it with you: Adult accountability includes managing conflict in a way that does not recruit children into protecting an adult's position or reputation.